A LOT OF PEOPLE HIDE WHEN
THEY’RE TRYING TO CONCEIVE

I think I was definitely early thirties, you know time moves on quickly. All my friends around my age were getting married. Then they were getting pregnant. And we were being asked. I texted my Mum one night and it was kind of like a cry for help and I think she knew deep down because I said ‘Oh, I just think I need to talk to somebody about having a baby’. And she rang me, she said I knew you were struggling.

Overall, we just had what was known as unexplained infertility. And then I remember clear as day going to see the consultant on one of the reviews and he said well this is obviously not working so I need to refer you to IVF.

Then it’s a waiting game. And that is just nuts. You know literally your life is in the hands of a Petri dish and a team of scientists. I was very open about what I was doing, with work, with friends, with everybody. Because I thought I don’t want to hide this from people and I know a lot of people do hide when they’re trying to conceive and they wait till that 12 week safe point and they tell everybody but I thought I need the support from people if this doesn’t work out. I don’t want to hide from this. I want people to be aware of what’s going on with me.

You feel like you’re in this spaceship and out the doors, this woman walks out shining lights behind her carrying the most precious cargo in her hand which is the size of a needle eye…which is your embryo.

I went to the top floor. Peed in this bottle, got it all over my hands, like you do. It was just stupid, I don’t know why I didn’t use a normal pregnancy test. I put it on the side and thought I’m not going to look at it. You know if I stare at it then something might not happen. And I looked and there was the faintest second line. The faintest one you’ve ever seen but there was a second line. Went back to Bourne at 6 weeks. The lovely consultant, you know, said ‘well, congratulations – let’s have a look at the heart beat’. And she said ‘yeah, I can see there’s the heartbeat. And there’s another heartbeat.’ And I said ‘sorry, what?’ She said ‘there are two heartbeats, so the embryo has split. That means you’re having twins.’

It was a 37 plus 1 weeks. It was a planned C-section. That’s what they recommended. That’s what we had. And at the end of it I got my two boys. They were absolutely fine. The smallest one, Flynn, needed a bit of help with feeding for a couple of days. But we were home just a few days before Christmas ready to face the world with twins and all that brings. So yes, that’s how I got them.

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